There will be moments in life where we will doubt our own abilities to cope with what life throws at us and my moment has certainly arrived. (The details of which are neither here nor there and could all be avoided if I lived a simpler lifestyle).
But at this particular time life isn’t flinging lemons at me but is instead shaking the damn tree above my head as lemons the size of watermelons descend upon me. (How’s that for imagery?)
It’s quite honestly spiralling out of control to the point that I now lay in bed at night unable to sleep; my eyes fixated on the dark ceiling above, my heart racing, and my mind going over every scenario (ultimately assuming that the worst is going to happen). I check the time on my phone every five minutes as I dread the upcoming alarm and then I commit the biggest faux pas and ruin any chances of NREM sleep by… checking my emails. (Only for the cycle to repeat itself).
Oh I can hear it now… “no electronic items before bed, move them away from you, read a book, meditate…”- Which is all great advice, except that I just can’t seem to follow any of it.
Personally, I think we humans have become so used to needing this stress and anxiety in order to feel alive, as the alternative is boredom and being stagnant. We’re so used to hearing that ‘If it’s not hard work than it’s not worth having’ or as Theodore Roosevelt so eloquently put;
“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.”
And so, we push on and on until we eventually crack or taste the fruits of our labour. Because let’s be honest, some of us just won’t cope… but if you do make it (and I hope that you do) it’s not the stress itself that we will remember, it’s the achievements and how we managed to overcome our obstacles.
AND remember we don’t have to do it alone. My god has this been a hard lesson to learn. There are a select few in this world who genuinely make it a more beautiful place. (For myself in Melbourne, it has to be MH and CH). If there are two people who have made my journey on the other side of this planet a more educational and rewarding experience, these ladies definitely win the award and for them, I am truly grateful.